(The next day in Toon Town, back in the trio's apartment)

Dr.Dude: (seen getting up with a playtoon article in his face) *yawn* ...Mornin' guys...

Soma: (sleeping in a pile of playtoon magazines) Zzzz... oh, Mrs. White... please, that tickles! Ooh hoo hoo...Zzz

Dr.Dude: (looks to Soma) ...Who the heck's Mrs. White?

Soma: (waking up) Zz.. Wha..? Aw, you just ruined my awesome dream, Vic!

Dr.Dude: Sorry. (looks to the sleeping Talu) We might want to wake your bro up, too.

Soma: (pats Talu's shoulder) C'mon, lulu, up an' at 'em.

Talu: (yawns) Morning.

Dr.Dude: (tiredly walks to the shower) I call first shower.

Soma: (heads into kitchen) I'll make breakfast.

Talu: I'll... Uh... (blinks) Watch TV, I guess.

(Talu switches on the TV, flipping to the news. The anchorman was a short man with white hair and a big, green hat)

Mad Hatter: Good morning, Toon Town! I am your host, Hatter!

March Hare: (appears from nowhere) And I'm the March Hare!

Dr.Dude: (from the bathroom) Can you make sure to turn the volume up, Talu?

Talu: Sure! (turns up the volume)

Dr.Dude: Thanks.

Charles Barkley: And I'm Charles Barkley.

Hatter: I told you, you don't work here!!

(Charles walks off sadly)

Hare: Anyway, here is the time. (holds up a clock)

Dr.Dude: (sighing) Who knew Toon Town would get boring so quickly...

Hatter: In recent news, the local junkyard has been said to have been the sightings of paranormal activity! We go live to a local to see what he has to say.

(The March Hare appears by an extremely obese character called Fat Albert)

Fat Albert: Hey hey hey! It was crazy, man! Me 'an Dumb Donald were just diggin' through some stuff to see if we could find anything to build, when this big 'ol creepy dude comes out and starts howling!

Hare: Ve-ry interesting!

Talu: (shocked) More ghosts?!

Dr.Dude: (pokes his head out of the shower) "Creepy dude starts howling?"

(Dr.Dude then walks out of the shower and dries himself off. He had a towel around his waist)

Dr.Dude: (comes out) Hey Soma, you listening to the news?

Hatter: (sips tea) In other news, E.T has just gotten out of Alcoholics Anonymous, and...

Soma: (paying attention to the tv, not realizing he's burning the bacon)

Dr.Dude: (to Soma, dully) Hey genius, the bacon's on fire.

Soma: (looks) WHOA!! (turns off fire, fanning the bacon) Uhh... anyone hungry? (sweatbead)

Dr.Dude: Right now, I'm in the mood for chocolate chip pancakes instead...

Soma: Comin' up! (takes out pancake batter)

Talu: Guys, something has GOT to be up... so many ghosts getting out around the same time? It can't be a coincidence.

Dr.Dude: You mean like one of those clichés that happen everyday?

Talu: What?

Dr.Dude: Never mind.

Soma: Lucky said he'd tell us if something came up, right? If he doesn't call us by tomorrow, it's probably nothing.

(Just then, the phone started to ring)

Dr.Dude: (frantically) I got it! (tries running to the phone with his towel on)

Soma: (winces) Dude, get dressed!

Dr.Dude: (as the phone rings) Oh, right. (snaps fingers, then a japanese shade appears. From the shade, Dr.Dude instantly got dressed into his regular uniform) NOW to the phone!

Soma: (looking at pancakes) Maybe some pepper will bring out the moisture...

(Dr.Dude then picks up the phone while watching the news)

Dr.Dude: This is the apartment of the SoTaDude Trio, your friendly-neighborhood-nutjob police officers, may I ask who's calling?

Voice: 7 days...

Dr.Dude: (puts hand to hip) Samara, what have I told you about breaking that habit?

Voice: Oh... wrong house. Sorry.

Dr.Dude: Just break that killing habit of yours.

Voice: It's like drugs...

Dr.Dude: (into the phone) Don't give me that! You've been doing it for years! Either you stop doing that or no mommy for you!

Voice: I'll try, I'll try....

Soma: (muttering in the kitchen) Maybe some chicken broth, too...

Dr.Dude: (as the phone rings again) Uh, can you hold that call, Samara? There's one on the other line. (goes to the other line) This is the apartment of the SoTaDude Trio, your friendly-neighborhood-nutjob police officers, may I ask who's calling?

Female voice: Hello officer Dude.

Dr.Dude: (eyes widen, then immediately salutes) Reporting for duty, Chief Hello Nurse!

Soma: Hmm... This garlic looks fresh...

(Dr.Dude then puts his hand to the receiver)

Dr.Dude: It's the chief of police!

Soma: (looks up) THE CHIEF'S CALLING?! (speeds away, then comes back in with a tuxedo) How do I look, is my hair ok?!

Dr.Dude: (to Soma) Your hair looks fine. She's on the phone.

Soma: Yeah, but I wanna feel presentable, y'know?

Talu: (sweatbead) She won't even see you...

Dr.Dude: (to the phone) What's the call for, chief?

Chief Hello Nurse: (voice) Your presence is needed over at the junkyard. Apparently more ghost activity has been seen there.

Talu: Perfect, an opportunity to look into the ghost situation! (gets up)

Chief Hello Nurse: (voice) Also, once you three studs are done looking into the situation, would you minding helping me out with my bath? The soap bubbles have lessened lately.

Soma: (eyes turn to hearts) OF COURSE, M'LADY!!!

Dr.Dude: (eyes turn to hearts as well) CONSIDER IT DONE!!!

(Dr.Dude and Soma then rush out the door, leaving Talu with the phone in his hand)

Talu: (watches them speed off, blankly) Anything else, ma'am?

Chief Hello Nurse: (voice) What do you have in mind, Talu?

Talu: Like, anymore info on the case?

Chief Hello Nurse: (voice) Lucky went to investigate earlier, but we haven't hard from him in the last two hours.

Talu: (worried) Hope he's ok...

Dr.Dude: (from outside) Talu, we're already getting into the PINGAS mobile we "borrowed" from Dr.Robotnik!

Talu: (calls out) Coming! (to Hello Nurse) Thanks for the scoop, chief. See you later.

Chief Hello Nurse: (voice) Anytime. Oh, and please do be careful around the Warners and Ralph outside.

Talu: (looks out the window) We're used to it...

(Outside the window, the Warner Siblings could be seen running across the street, while Ralph the security guard chased after them)

Soma: (sighs) It used to be funny...

Dr.Dude: (head on shoulder) But now... (honks the horn to the four) Guys, can you do your skit somewhere else? We're in a hurry here.

(The Warners and Ralph then stop running and look to Dr.Dude and Soma with surprised looks)

Yakko: Aw c'mon, this is classic!

Dr.Dude: (plain) And we've seen it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Ralph: Dah... I'm hungry anyways. (walks off)

Dr.Dude: (looks to Ralph) Hey Ralph, care to come with us? Once we're done, we get to fix up the chief's bubble bath!

(Ralph instantly froze and turned on that)

Ralph: Oh boy oh boy, I just love bubble baths!

Soma: Oblivious as usual...

(Ralph then jumps into the backseat as Talu comes up)

Talu: Ralph's coming with us?

Soma: Unfortunately.

Talu: ...Why?

Dr.Dude: (to the Warners) See you once we're done! (and so the PINGAS mobile drives off, leaving the Warners at the road)

Wakko: Well now what do we do?

Yakko: I dunno. Go torment Squidward?

Dot: Sounds like a plan! (the trio bounce off)

Spongebob: (walking up with the Warners) Hey! You guys going up to see Squidward too?

Wakko: Yeah! Wanna join?

Spongebob: Sure! (passes a rock) Hey Patrick, we're going to see Squidward!

(The rock opens up, and a starfish is seen from it)

Patrick Star: Is it time to ruin Squid's day again? (falls off the flat part and crashes at the hole. He comes back up wearing a tuxedo) Don't start without me!

(Meanwhile...)

Dr.Dude: (driving the PINGAS mobile, hums the Inspector Pingas tune)

Ralph: (busy eating a donut he got out of his pocket) Om nom nom nom nom... Dah, this donut's REALLY good!

Soma: You ever notice how whenever we get into the Flintstone's neighborhood, we seem to pass the same buildings over and over again?

Talu: Huh... weird.

Dr.Dude: (raises an eyebrow) Yeah... (looks to see Fred Flintstone mowing his lawn) I swear we passed him five times already...

Ralph: (as they pass Fred again) Dah... Make that six.

Talu: No wonder everyone gets lost when they come here...

Dr.Dude: (stops the car, then looks to Fred) Hey Fred, you know an easy way to the Toon Town junkyard?

Fred: Just keep goin' straight. You just need to pass me at least three more times... or was it four? HEY, WILMA?

Dr.Dude: (slaps forehead) Oh boy...

Soma: Er, thanks anyway...

Dr.Dude: (looks down the street) Oh and Fred, Barney's coming up.

(The PINGAS mobile then drives straight ahead as Barney Rubble walks down the street)

Fred: Hey, where are my Fruity Pebbles?!

Barney: Uh heh heh, don't look at me, Fred.

(Back in the PINGAS mobile, Ralph was seen eating some of said cereal in a rock bowl)

Ralph: (eating some Fruity Pebbles) Dah... I like my Fruity Pebbles!

Talu: (sweatbead) Can we seriously drop him off somewhere?

Narrator: Later, the gang, and Ralph, finally made it to the Toon Town junkyard. For some strange reason, the air had a smelly smell about it... smellier than usual.

(As the Narrator said, the PINGAS mobile parked out near the junkyard, whereas the cops, including Ralph, got out)

Soma: (holding his nose) Phew!! Smells like me after chilidog night!

Dr.Dude: Actually, it smells like you after New Playtoon Edition day.

Talu: Dude, that's disgusting!

Dr.Dude: (looks to Talu) EXACTLY.

Soma: ...What are you suggesting?

Ralph: (to the three) Dah... Should I keep the car in check while you guys go in there?

Talu: Sure thing! (mumbles) As long as you don't eat it...

Ralph: Duh... What was that?

Talu: Nothing, nothing...

Dr.Dude: (points like a stereotypical super hero) TO THE JUNKYARD!

(Into the junkyard they went...)

Dr.Dude: (with a paper clip on his nose) This place smells worse than that leftover pizza in the fridge...

(Suddenly, some rustling came from a pile of junk)

Dr.Dude: Eh? (looks around) You guys hear that?

Soma: Yep... (looks to junk pile) I think it came from there...

Dr.Dude: (observes the pile) Hmmm...

Talu: (takes out LAZOR thing) Keep 'em distracted.

(Dr.Dude stealthily sneaks up on the pile. Picking up a stick, he lightly pokes the pile)

Dr.Dude: (continues to poke the pile with the stick) Pokey pokey, artichokey. Anybody in there?

Soma: I wouldn't--

(Suddenly, a swarm of ghouls burst from the junk!)

Soma: (sweatbead) --Do that.

Dr.Dude: (drops the stick) I probably shouldn't have asked. (backs up a bit)

Talu: (shocked) Th-There's so many...!!

Ghouls: Intruders... Send them out!

Soma: ...Are they singing?

Dr.Dude: And in OPERA?

Ghouls: Leave our sanctuary, or pay the ultimate price of our devout...

Talu: (groans) Toon Town... Just never gets interesting.

Dr.Dude: Not anymore.

(The trio then sigh at this)

Ghouls: Behold our wrath, we'll break you like glass... Leave now, and we won't have to kick your a--

Dr.Dude: Hey! This is Toon Town, not Adult Swim!

Talu: Guys, listen, I need you to make sure at least one of them doesn't escape! We need to do some questioning...

Ghouls: We won't answer anything!

Dr.Dude: Ooooooh, I'm sure you will.

Ghouls: We don't like your tone...

Dr.Dude: ... (higher-pitched) I'm sure you will. How's that? (goofy smile)

Soma: Now's not the time, dude...

(Suddenly...)

Lazor: AHM A FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!!

Dr.Dude: (turns on that) Eh?

(In a blast, half the ghouls were gone!)

Other half of Ghouls: Our brethren, nooooooooooo!

Dr.Dude: (sweatbead) I can't tell if they're being serious with that singing of theirs.

Talu: Still, it even things out!

Ghouls: (glare at the trio) You will PAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Dr.Dude: (sweatbead) Alright, we get it.

Soma: Really, the singing ISN'T DRAMATIC!

Ghouls: HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF OUR SINGING?!?!

Soma: (stress mark) I... really... hate... Toon Town...

Dr.Dude: (looks to Soma) If the chief heard you say that, she'd probably hate you for the rest of her beautiful life.

Soma: (lovey-dovey) True...

Ghouls: Prepare to feel our--

Dr.Dude: (to the ghouls) Look, we'll fight you, but only if you stop singing, okay?

Ghouls: (sigh) Fine...

Dr.Dude: (to Soma and Talu) Well, at least they won't sing as of now.

Soma: Yeah... (cracks knuckles) now, who's ready to kick some butt?!

Dr.Dude: Soma, they're ghouls, as in not physical.

Soma: (droops) R-Right...

Talu: Just keep 'em still. I'll blast them back into the Spectre Cell!

Dr.Dude: (points in a random direction) Hey look! Desire's back and she's undressing!

Ghouls: (look that way) WHERE?!

Voice: FAHRIN MAH LAZOR BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

(Lazor zaps all ghouls but one)

Dr.Dude: (cracks his neck) Looks like we got our stool pigeon.

Ghoul: I won't talk! You can't make me!!

Dr.Dude: (smirks a 'sinister' smile) Oooooooooh really?

Ghoul: ...E-Eh?

Dr.Dude: We have ways of making ghosts talk, right guys?

Soma: (smirks evilly, taking out a vacuum cleaner) Mr. Ghoul... meet Mr. Sucker!

Ghoul: (shrieks like a little girl) NOOOOOOO!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

Soma: (to the audience) It's a natural fact that ghosts are powerless to vacuums, as fairies are to butterfly nets!

Dr.Dude: Okay, unless you want to be sucked up, you answer our questions... (puts up a flashlight on the Ghoul) What made you and your buddies come to the junkyard in the first place?

Ghoul: Th-This clown and a beauty killed all the guards at the Spectre Cell... They've taken control of the place, and release a horde of ghosts every 6 hours...

Talu: I knew it!!

Soma: A clown and a beauty?

Dr.Dude: OF COURSE It was a clown and beauty all along! ...(looks skeptical) Hey wait a minute…

Ghoul: What?

Dr.Dude: (points to the ghoul) How do we this ain't some cheap lie?

Ghoul: Ghouls, unlike Ghosts, cannot lie. If we do, we melt into bacon grease.

Soma: ...That makes absolutely no sense.

Dr.Dude: Aaaaaaaaaanyway... (gets Soma to point the vacuum) Have any other law officials came earlier to this spot?

Ghoul: Not that I can remember...

Dr.Dude: (crosses arms) ... (looks to Soma) Soma, rev up the vacuum.

Ghoul: AAAAGH!! OK, OK!! There was one... a pretty red haired woman who came to inspect the area... She was overpowered and taken by the clown...

Soma: (eyes widen) Jenny!!

Dr.Dude: (looks to Soma) Jenny has BLUE hair. (to the Ghoul) Did this red haired woman have a large bust, sultry voice, and her right eye covered by her hair?

Ghoul: Yes...

Dr.Dude: (gasps in shock) JESSICA RABBIT WAS AROUND HERE?!?!

Ghoul: (pauses) Oh, wait. Now that you mention it, that wasn't her name...

Dr.Dude: (droops) Ultimate dream... foiled...

Ghoul: The clown mentioned her name was... Jen, or something...

(The trio starts to think about this)

Dr.Dude: Hmmm... It can't be Officer Jenny, her hair's blue...

Ghoul: May I mention ghouls are colorblind?

Dr.Dude: (dull) What a surprise.

(Just then, Talu remembered what Chief Hello Nurse told him about Lucky)

Talu: Wait... you sure it wasn't a guy?

(Dr.Dude then groans at this)

Ghoul: Um... I don't remember... (pauses) .....................................Where am I?

Soma: (anime falls at this)

Dr.Dude: (does the same)

Talu: (ditto)

(The trio groaned as their faces were in the dirt)

Dr.Dude: (muffled) Is it fair to say that ghouls are complete idiots?

Ghoul: (looks to the three) Hello, I'm Tad.

Soma: (stress mark) Pleased to kill you.

Dr.Dude: (stress mark) Again.

Ghoul: Will you three be joining me and my fellow chaps for tea and biscuits with our master, Buggy the Clown?

Talu: (looks up) Buggy the Clown?

Dr.Dude: (looks up) A clown named Buggy?

Ghoul: Indeed. He is a jolly fellow, I must say. He's going to let all the ghosts out of that dreadful prison I was stuck in. We'll be having a party, he says!

(The trio look at each other on this)

Soma: Uh... It's cool if we come?

Dr.Dude: A party, you say?

Ghoul: Oh yes indeed! According to him, we'll be clearing out the mess he calls "Toon Town" and--

Talu: Woah, back up, what?!

Dr.Dude: Clearing out Toon Town?

Ghoul: Master Buggy says in order to have our party, we need to get rid of this thing he calls "Toon Town". He wants us to exterminate the pests that inhabit it and destroy everything we see.... I always hated insects. Those roaches, ugh!

(The three looked horrified at this)

Soma: He's gonna destroy Toon Town?!

Dr.Dude: So in other words, you're telling us that Buggy's releasing all of these ghosts into Toon Town just so he'll enjoy it's demolishing?!?!

Ghoul: (jolly) Indeed! And afterward, we'll have a splendid party! Care to join?

Talu: No w--!!

Soma: (covers his mouth) Suuuuuuuure! We'd love to!

Dr.Dude: (on Soma's angle) Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, we'd be honored to come!

Talu: (muffled) What?!

Soma: (rolls his eyes) And you're the smart one.

Dr.Dude: (whispers to Talu) How else are we going to turn them in?

Talu: (thinks) Ohhhhh.... right, gotcha!

(The trio then look to the Ghoul)

Soma: As I said, we'd love to join your little party!

Dr.Dude: And you can tell us EVERYTHING that he has planned for it!

Ghoul: Splendid, splendid! Shall we be off then?

Dr.Dude: Sure! (remembers the deal) But first, we have some "business" to take care of with the chief. You mind waiting?

Ghoul: I suppose... be sure to be back in an hour, though! Master Buggy will be releasing the ghosts at Six O'clock sharp!

(The trio look at their watches)

Talu: (sees time) Oh shit...

Soma: (frowns) A boy your age shouldn't say "shit!" (checks watch) Oh shit...

Dr.Dude: (sighs) No time to get back to the chief then... Guess she'll come after the party. (looks to Talu and Soma) And we have no choice but to bring Ralph with us.

Soma and Talu: (groans) WHHHY?!

Dr.Dude: (shrugs) He may be dim, but he's still a member of the police force.

Soma: Can't we just make him keep an eye on the ghoul?

Dr.Dude: Good point. (to the Ghoul) Lead the way, ghoulie, lead the way.

Ghoul: Righto! Off we go then! (flies off, making sure the three are close behind)

Dr.Dude: (poses comically) TO THE PINGAS MOBILE!

(Logo crashes into the screen)

Logo: DA NA NA NA NAAAAAA!!

(The group, along with Ralph in the back, were driving the PINGAS mobile, following the ghoul)

Ralph: (humming 60's Batman theme) Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BAT MAAAAAAAAN!!

Talu: (covering ears) NOW can we dump him at the donut shop?!

Dr.Dude: (humming the same thing) Da na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BAT MAAAAAAAAN!!

Talu: You're no help... Soma?

Soma: (singing as well) BAT MAAAAAAAN! BAT MAAAAAN! BAT MAAAAAAAN!!

Talu: (slinks into his seat) God, please shoot me now.

(Talu sighed at the three's incompetence)

(Later, at a high-tech facility at the end of Toon Town...)

Dr.Dude: (as the PINGAS mobile parks in front) Is this the place?

Ghoul: Yes, my boy. The prison I was kept in is deep within, where Master Buggy is waiting. (floats along) Please don't mind the dead humans... Master Buggy says he'll clean them up later.

Soma: (looks at the corpses) Ugh... poor bastards...

Dr.Dude: (looks to the corpses) You think the ghosts came out of them too?

Talu: Unlikely...

Soma: Care to explain?

Talu: It's a bit too complicated...

Dr.Dude: Put it as blunt as you can.

Talu: Uhh... Souls that have died recently without certain things happening to them.. um... go to Heaven, I guess.

Dr.Dude: Sounds easy to know.

Soma: (shrugs) Works for me. Onward, people!

Ralph: Dah... What about me?

Talu: Uh... you stay here and keep an eye on things.

Ralph: Dah... Okie-dokie! (keeps guard at the door)

(Inside...)

Dr.Dude: (stealthily sliding along the wall, acting like a spy of some sort) *hums the Pink Panther theme* Doo doo, doo doo, do do, do do, do do, do do, do dooooo, do do do doo…

Soma: So, how do we find this Spectre Cell thing?

Talu: I have no idea... considering how huge they built this place, it make take hours, maybe even da-- Oh, a guide map.

(Conveniently, a guide map rests in the middle of the main corridor.)

Soma: (sweatbead) Oooookaaaaay....

(Dr.Dude was still trying to sneak around, still humming the theme)

Soma: (looks at him) ... (lines appear on his head as Dr. D continues to hum and sneak around) Dude, there's a map right here.

Dr.Dude: Doo do- (notices the map) ...And I was having fun. (walks over to the map)

Talu: Ok, look for anything that looks like it would relate to the Spectre Cell...

Dr.Dude: (looking on the map) Hmmm... Would anything green relate to it?

Talu: (rolls eyes) Oh, that's just a stereotype color for ghosts, Dude! Try to be realistic!

Soma: What about the words "SPECTRE CELL: BASEMENT LEVEL 300" in bright green?

Dr.Dude: Yeah, what Soma said?

Talu: (looks) ... (sweatbeads) That works.

(The trio head to the elevator.... which has an "out of order" sign on it.)

Soma: (groans) You can't be serious.

Dr.Dude: Hold on...

(Dr.Dude blows on the sign, revealing some text under it. It read, "and YES, we're serious")

Talu: (points dully) To the staaaairs.

(logo droops in.)

Logo: Da na na... whatever.

Dr.Dude: (sliding down fast on the rails) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(BGM: Escape from the city- Sonic Adventure 2)

Soma: (grinding on the rails) Rollin' around at the speed of sound...

Dr.Dude: (sliding on the rails) Got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow!

Talu: Can't stick around, gotta keep movin' on,

Dr.Dude: Just what lies ahead...

Soma: Only one way to find out!

Dr.Dude: Just trust in what you can't see...

Talu: Take my lead...

Trio: I'll set you free!

(Meanwhile, at the very bottom)

Narrator: Buggy and Alvida were seen, ready to put to put their diabolical, and perhaps half-baked, plan into action!

Alvida: (checking watch, smirks) It's almost time...

Buggy: Ha ha ha! Yes! Soon, all the ghosts will be released, and Toon Town will be nothing but a pile of rubble!

Alvida: May I have the honor?

Buggy: Yes, you shall!

Familiar voices: I'll make it throuuuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Alvida: (turns to the door) Hmm?

Buggy: What the--?

(Suddenly, the trio burst through the door)

Dr.Dude: And we're here to save the day!

Ghoul: Master! I have returned!

Dr.Dude: With guests! (smiles goofily, referring to him, Talu, and Soma)

Alvida: (glares) You were followed...

Dr.Dude: Actually, he lead us here. (looks to Soma and Talu) Ain't that right?

Soma: Yup.

Talu: Yah.

Buggy: Ghoul! What is the meaning of this?!

Ghoul: My apologize, master, but I felt I should invite some more guests for our after-destroying-Toon Town party!

Buggy: (anger mark) THOSE AREN'T GUESTS! THOSE ARE THE COPS!

Ghoul: Oh... (grins) How delightful! Always a pleasure to have the law for company!

(Buggy then slaps his forehead at this)

Alvida: (sighs) Imbecile...

Soma: (holds up badge) In the name of the Toon Town Police Department, you're all under arrest!

Dr.Dude: (holds up badge as well) You've the right to remain silent, anything you say can AND will be used against you in a court of law.

Talu: (Holding up badge, flipping through a Deputy's Guide to Law instruction booklet) And... uh... Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

(Dr.Dude and Soma look to Talu at this)

Soma: (sweatbead) Wrong page.

Talu: (sweatbead) Whoops.

Alvida: How annoying... Why don't we get rid of them, Buggy?

Buggy: These pests will only cause us trouble. It should be right that we get rid of them.

Soma: (cracks knuckles, smirks) Alright, I got dibs on the clown.

Talu: (gets out LAZOR) Leave the ghosts to me!

Dr.Dude: (giggles, rubs hands together) Than that leaves ME with the babe!

Soma: (sees Alvida) ... (slaps forehead)

Dr.Dude: Sorry, Soma, your call. (grins goofily)

Alvida: (smirking) Well well...

(Dr.Dude then chuckles as he fixes his hair)

Dr.Dude: Ooooooooooooh, this is gonna be fun...

Soma: (walks up to Buggy) What do they call you?

Buggy: They call the terror of the Grand Line! The almighty owner of the Buggy Ball! Those who dare to defy me experience flashy demise! I am the greatest pirate ever known! (keeps with the monologue)

Soma: Whoa, dude, I just want your name, not your life story.

Buggy: (grumbles at that) Fine... I am... BUGGY THE CLOWN! (gets out his many daggers) Prepare to die flashily!

Soma: Buggy, huh? Well... (thumbs his nose) The name's Sonicmario, but you can call me Soma!

(As for Victor Von Vandenburg, he was having his own battle introductory monolouge with Buggy's alluring cohort)

Dr.Dude: (leans up on the wall) Soooooo... What do they call a lovely lady like you? Beautiful? Alluring? Sexy? All of the above?

Alvida: (thoughts) Too easy. (unbuttons her shirt, exposing her cleavage a bit) I am Alvida, the lady pirate... Who might you be, handsome?

Dr.Dude: (does the eyebrow trick) Name's Dr.Dude. And that's a nice pair you have. Now... (paces) We COULD do this the easy way, but I doubt you would like that.

Alvida: (giggles) Oh, doctor... I'm not feeling too well. Why don't you give me a little... checkup? (unbuttons her shirt some more)

Dr.Dude: (goes heart-eyed on that) YES I- (realizes) Oh right... There's a bit of complication on the name.

Alvida: (fake gasp) Ohh...! My chest hurts...!

Dr.Dude: You mean breasts. If you had a chest, then that would mean... (shudders at the thought) I don't want to talk about it.

(Dr.Dude then zips on over, having his head over Alvida's hat)

Alvida: Smart AND cute...

Dr.Dude: Hmmmmm... Nothing unusual here... (looks down to the cleavage) And nothing out of the ordinary there...

Alvida: Why not look... closer? (smirks)

Dr.Dude: (looks at Alvida) Oh you know I would... (peaks up) But I don't want to risk getting hit by that giant mace.

(He looked upwards to see Alvida had her arm raised with her mace in it the whole time)

Alvida: ...Too smart.

Dr.Dude: (instantly zips to look at Alvida in the face) Not smart. Just comedic. Hee hee! (gives Alvida a kiss on the cheek before dodging the huge mace)

Alvida: (as the mace hits the ground) Damn...!

(Dr.Dude zips over to the spot he was before and looks at his fingernails as Alvida gets up)

Dr.Dude: (looks to Alvida with a smirk) ...And dang did that feel GOOD.

(Back with Soma and Buggy, the red hedgehog was spinning circles around the clown pirate)

Soma: (circling Buggy) What're you waiting for, Bugs?

Buggy: (constantly tries to see where Soma's going) Stop running you stinking hedgehog!

Soma: (jumps on Buggy's head and leans upside-down into his face) Peek-a-boo!

Buggy: Why you...

(Buggy then tries to raise his sword up and slash at Soma)

Soma: (jumps out of the way and kicks Buggy in the face at mid-jump)

(At that, Buggy's head, shockingly, comes off!)

Soma: GAH!!

Talu: (freaks out) YOU KILLED HIM?!

Dr.Dude: (bugs out, losing his focus on Alvida) HOLY CRAP!!!

Alvida: (While he's distracted) Take THIS!! (swings mace at him)

(Dr.Dude then gets whacked on the head with the mace. Luckily, none of the spike parts hit him. Dr.Dude DID see stars though)

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Oh look at the pretty stars and how they gleam in the room! Ooh, I can see a well-endowed one right there...

Alvida: (smirks) Don't let your guard down over such simple things.

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Thanks for the tip...

Soma: Uh, are you aware I just KNOCKED THE CLOWN'S HEAD OFF?!

Familiar Voice: You knocked WHOSE head off?

(Just then, Soma was slashed at the back)

Soma: DAAAGH!! (falls on his knees)

Talu: SOMA!!

Familiar Voice: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(Just then, Buggy's head, laughing of course, was seen floating in the air. It reattached on the body along with the hand that slashed Soma)

Soma: WHAT THE HELL?!

Buggy: Surprised?

Dr.Dude: (while dazed) Birds and bees and buttercups...

(As he was dazed, he fell over to Alvida, having his face fall right into her bust)

Alvida: (twitches) You're starting to annoy me... (hits him again)

(Dr.Dude, now with two bumps on his head, twirled around a bit before landing on the ground, seeing stars)

Dr.Dude: (dazed) The pretty lady likes to hit people...

Soma: (to Buggy) How'd you DO that?

Buggy: I'm not just ANY pirate! I ate the Chop Chop Devil Fruit. I'm a Chop Chop man!

Soma: Chop Chop man?!

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Then what does that make the sexy lady?

Alvida: (kicks him away) I ate the Slip Slip Devil Fruit, making any attack slip right off me... Like this.

(Suddenly, Alvida tosses her mace up in the air, landing right on her head... but shockingly, it slipped right off, not leaving a scratch!)

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Oh.

Talu: Devil Fruits...

Soma: But then, why did your head come off??

Buggy: The only downside of these powers is that we cannot swim. And of course my head came off because of the Chop Chop Fruit. I can detach any part of my body and use it to my own will!

Soma: Huh... Then what happens if I do THIS?! (zips up and rapidly begins punching Buggy in the gut)

Buggy: Grah! Gah! Then I do this! (detaches his hand and punches Soma in the face)

(Swiftly, Soma whirled his leg around, knocking Buggy off his feet)

Buggy: Ha ha! Like that'd work! (his body and legs fly into the air)

Dr.Dude: (dazed, punches arm in the air) Go for the pants! That has to be his weakness!

Soma: YOU CAN HELP TOO, Y'KNOW!!!

Dr.Dude: (dazed) I would if I could, but can't see straight. I think there's a purple leprechaun in the air!

Buggy: (in the air, looks to Alvida) I think you hit him too hard.

Soma: (looks to Buggy's legs) ...I know this is below the belt, but... (rams foot into Buggy's crotch)

Buggy: (instantly goes pain faced and pain-filled) ....... (Just then, the body fell to the floor and rolled around in pain) My balls! My balls! They hurt! Cheap shot!

Soma: Talu, quick! One of your gizmos!!

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Anyone have a cookie?

Talu: (rummages through bag) Uh... lets see... (takes out a needle with a green liquid in it) Try this! (tosses it to Soma)

Soma: And this is...?

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Is it bedtime yet?

Talu: A sedative I created that relaxes muscle to the point that the person cant even move! Use it on Buggy while he's down!!

Dr.Dude: (dazed) Soma keeps various lady magazines under his bed...

Buggy: (to Alvida, turns his head) You know, I think you REALLY hit him hard.

Alvida: (sighs) Maybe THIS will make you shut up. (unbuttons her shirt and... flashes him)

Soma: (eyes bug out) WOOHOOHOOHOOOOOO!!!!!

Dr.Dude: (notices, immediately goes buggy eyed) WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (instantly jumps up and leaps to Alvida) COME TO ME, MY PRETTY!

Alvida: (actually looking a bit freaked out) G-Get away from me!! (makes a run for it)

Dr.Dude: (just runs after Alvida in anime style with heart eyes) Don't deny it! You couldn't have shown those things without reason! (starts to catch up to Alvida)

Soma: Oh no you don't!! (zips in front of Alvida and sticks the needle in her arm)

Alvida: Aa--!! (She stops abruptly, wobbling, before falling to the ground)

(Dr.Dude then makes a dynamic leap before instantly falling on Alvida)

Soma: (heads back to Buggy) Keep 'er awake, Dude! We need to do some "questioning" with her when we're done...

Dr.Dude: Now... where were we?

Alvida: Oh God...

Dr.Dude: Oh yes... your chest needed some... "checking up." (a gleam is shown in his eye)

Talu: (concerned) Soma, I only had one vile of that sedative...

Soma: No worries, bro. (looks to Buggy) I can handle it!

Buggy: You may have taken out Alvida, but you can't take out me! (gets ready for something) Chop Chop...

Soma: (getting into a fighting stance) *thoughts* Concentrate... Find an opening...

Buggy: FESTIVAL!!!

(Just then, all of his body parts separated and swirled everywhere)

Soma: (just as one of Buggy's knives is about to hit him, he suddenly charges) Found it!!

(While it's detached, Soma grabs Buggy's head)

Buggy: (while grabbed) Huh?! Hey!

Soma: (Leaps on Buggy's floating body parts, getting higher and higher)

Buggy: What the heck are you doing?!

(Then, Soma leapt up to the ceiling, bounced off, and began flying head first towards the ground. He held Buggy's head out in front of him.)

Buggy: (eyes bug out) ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?

Soma: No... (smirking) Just seriously injure you.

Buggy: Oh, that's ni- (bugs out again) HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

KAPOW!!!

(As Buggy's face hit the ground, Soma bounced off gently)

Soma: (wipes hands) Done and done.

(The body parts then end up attaching back to Buggy as he moans in the ground)

Talu: (pumps fist) Yeah, we won!

Dr.Dude: Hooray for us!

Soma: (looking at the unconscious Buggy) Huh, I might've gone overboard... Well, at least one is awake...

Dr.Dude: Oh, she's awake. (looks down at Alvida)

Alvida: (Still unable to move) Go ahead and do what you want, you little perverts... I'm not saying anything!!

Soma: (smiles mischievously) Oh REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALY?

Dr.Dude: (smiles the same way) Are you SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE about that?

Talu: (rolls eyes) Here we go...

Soma: (eyes Alvida's sandaled feet) Hello, what have we here? (goes to her feet)

Alvida: (nervously) What are you doing...?

Soma: (Removing her sandals) Juuuuuuuuuust a little method of interrogation Toon Town Officers use. (Holds her left foot in the air by the heel)

Alvida: (sweating) What are you doing??

Soma: Now then, let's begin the "operation"... (holds out hand) Nurse?

Talu: Don't call me that. (hands him a feather)

Alvida: (eyes widen in realization) Oh no... Please, not that...!!

Dr.Dude: (rubbing his hands together) Yes, that!

Soma: (strokes feather up and down the sole of her foot) Kitchie kitchie koo~!

Alvida: (giggling) S-Stop!! That tihihihickles!!

Dr.Dude: (whispers in Alvida's ear) That's the idea.

Talu: (sighs) You and your fetishes, Soma...

Dr.Dude: Now then... (looks at Alvida) What's you and Buggy's reason for coming over to Toon Town?

Alvida: (panting) N-Never!

Dr.Dude: ...Nurse, feather #2!

Talu: (frowns) I said don't call me-- oh, whatever! (hands him another feather)

Dr.Dude: Thank you, nurse. (reaches the feature to Alvida's arm)

Alvida: (panicky) Nonoononononononono--!!

(The screen then starts zooming out from the building)

Alvida's voice: KYAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Dr.Dude's voice: Tell us!

Soma's voice: This little piggy got tickled to death... And THIS little piggy did toooo!

Alvida's voice: NOOHOHOHOHOOO!! STOPPIIIIT!! PLEASE!!

Dr.Dude's voice: Only if you tell us!

Alvida's voice: I CAHAHAHAN'T!!!

Soma's voice: (raspberry noise)

Dr.Dude's voice: (boing noise)

Alvida: KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OK!! OK!!! I'LL TALK!!

Dr.Dude's voice: Good.

Soma's voice: Aww, but I wasn't done....

Dr.Dude's voice: We'll have more time later.

(The camera then zooms back into the building, where Alvida looks exhausted)

Dr.Dude: (sitting near Alvida) Sooooo... You'll tell us now?

Alvida: (tired) ...We came here for the fortune this town immersed in the past century...

Soma: (raises eyebrow) There's fortune?

Dr.Dude: (thinks) Come to think of it, there were rumors that great treasure lied in the mines on the outskirts of Toon Town.

Talu: But why destroy the whole town? Why not just steal it? (pauses) Not that the latter's any better.

Dr.Dude: I've actually heard of this gold reserve...

Talu: Really?

Dr.Dude: Yeah. This reserve was found about a month ago by miners. It's now an excavation site.

Soma: (To Alvida) Ok... but why destroy all of Toon Town?

(Silence... The silence is revealed that both Buggy and Alvida were gone)

Dr.Dude: (looks to see both are gone) ...Awwwwww crap.

Talu: What the--?! (Looks around) Where'd they go?!

Dr.Dude: (looks frantically) What happened to the boobs?!

(Soma and Talu look to their comrade at that)

Talu: -_-

Dr.Dude: ...Uh... Meaning the weirdos! That's what I meant!

Soma: They couldn't have run off very far! Let's spilt up!

(Dr.Dude then looks down to the ground near Soma)

Dr.Dude: Oh look, there's one of Alvida's heels.

Talu: (groans) A fat lot that'll do...

Soma: (smirks) Not exactly!

Dr.Dude: How so?

(Soma picks up the sandal and takes a large whiff of it. Talu and Dr. D stare at him)

Dr.Dude: ...

Talu: (sweatbead) ...Bro, this may not be the best time to fill out your fetishism...

Soma: (sniffs the air a few times) ... (points in one direction) She went that way!

Talu: O_O ...You can pick up scents from smelling their feet??

Soma: (Not noticing) Just girls.

(Suddenly, Dr.Dude was seen wearing a black shirt. Written on it was "I'm with the crazy nut." in capital letters and a red arrow pointing to Soma)

Dr.Dude: (wearing the shirt) And I thought I was the weirdo.

(Suddenly, there was a rustling from a nearby closet)

Dr.Dude: (looks to the closet) Huh?

Talu: (walks over with a minilazer in hand) This could be them... be on guard.

(The three then carefully headed to the closet. With Dr.D and Soma in battle position, Talu opened the door... and Lucky, tied and gagged, fell out!)

Dr.Dude: Lucky!

Lucky: (tied and gagged, muffles a few words while trying to get up)

Soma: So they DID capture him!

Lucky: (muffles a few more)

Dr.Dude: I think he wants us to free him.

Talu: Here, lemmie get that... (tears the tape off Lucky's mouth)

Lucky: (as the tape stings when off) Ow!

Talu: Sorry.

(Dr.Dude then cuts off the ropes as Lucky then rubs where the tape was before getting up)

Lucky: Thanks for the help guys. I really needed it.

Soma: What happened?

Lucky: It's those two, Buggy and Alvida were their names. I recently found them getting into the building, so I tried to apprehend them. But they found me and stuffed me in here.

Talu: We figured out half their plans, but we didn't get the info on why they wanted to destroy Toon Town. Did you hear anything?

Lucky: I heard about them saying they had orders, but they were really after the gold reserve under the city. Thanks to you, they won't blow Toon Town up, but there's an easier way to get into the reserve.

Soma: I thought they were gonna release the ghosts into Toon Town...

Dr.Dude: (to Soma) I'm pretty sure that's how they planned on destroying Toon Town.

Lucky: We don't have much time! If those two manage to steal the gold in the reserve, Toon Town will crumble all on itself!

Dr.Dude: (plain) Gold that provides balance. Huh.

Talu: Lucky, show us the secret passage to the reserve!

Lucky: If we go now, we should be able to spare time! We'll take my car.

(The group then ran out of the building quick, spying Ralph tied and gagged and the PINGAS mobile stolen)

Soma: Aw, shoot!

Lucky: Like I said, we'll take my car!

(Just then, Bonkers came up with said car. However, it looked a little dusty and a bit wrecked)

Bonkers: (from the window) You called, Lucky ol' pal?

Soma: Sweet! Off we go! (hops into the car)

Dr.Dude: (presses on a random stopwatch) Huh. Right on time! (hops into it next)

Talu: Wait, what about Ralph?

Soma: (Stares at Ralph for a minute) ...Can't we just leave him?

Dr.Dude: Sometimes I wonder about our nobility.

Talu: (frowns at the two with his hands on his hips) ...

Dr.Dude: ...Fine... Soma, you do it.

Soma: No, you do it.

Dr.Dude: No, you do it.

Soma: No, you do it.

Dr.Dude: No, you do it.

Soma: No, you do it.

Dr.Dude: No, you do it.

Soma: No, you do it.

Dr.Dude: No, you do it.

Soma: No, you do it.

Dr.Dude: No, you do-

Talu: OK, OK!!

Dr.Dude: Oooookay... (to Talu) You do it.

Talu: (slaps the air) YOU GUYS SUCK!

Lucky: (looks to the three from the driver's seat) How about this? All three of you do it... (smirks with a gleam in his eye) Or else no reward from Chief Hello Nurse.

Trio: (look to each other) ...

Soma: I'm in.

Talu: Ditto.

Dr.Dude: Me three.

(The three then quickly got out of the car and helped out Ralph)

Ralph: (thankful now that he was untied and not gagged) Dah, thanks for the help guys!

Soma: (fake smile) Don't mention it! (mutters) Really, don't...

Ralph: (scratches his head) Dah, why?

Dr.Dude: Just don't...

Talu: Don't worry about it. Here, have a sandwich! (pulls a sandwich from nowhere and gives it to Ralph)

Ralph: Oh goodie! (takes the sandwich and starts eating it)

Soma: (To Lucky) Can we go now?

Lucky: Waiting for you. (taps his finger on the steering wheel)

Dr.Dude: (poses heroically) To the gold reserve! (jumps into the car)

(Logo accidentally crashes through the computer into the person's face)

Dr.Dude's voice: We haven't left yet, logo!

Logo: Oops...

Bonkers: But isn't it time for the end of the episode?

Lucky: Yeah, ain't it? This episode has gotten so long, we'll be lucky if isn't TOO long for Deviantart to fill in for one chapter!

Soma: Good point.

Dr.Dude: Oh yeah, Deviantart has limited space for written deviations.

Soma: Alrighty, we'll stop here! (clears throat) TO BE CONTINUUUUUUED....

Dr.Dude: ...Remind me to give you voice lessons.